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The meds chat

For the last month and a bit I have had really bad physical health. I have had to have injections, blood tests, hospital trips and visiting the doctor twice a week. Alongside this however I encountered the dreaded meds chat. Being physically ill has a toll on your mental health and I had a slight breakdown almost. I could hear things that were not there and I felt like I was being watched I spent hours crying and rocking back and forth. I was lucky that I have a partner that supported me and calmed me down till it was all over, others aren't as lucky. I have been alone in such dark times and it takes more strength than describable to overcome that fatal darkness. 

I have learnt that honesty is a key to becoming better and getting the right medication and support. In consequence of this my dosage of depression, anxiety and mood stabilisers were increased. Being sick both mentally and physically puts my pill count to 9 a day. This sometimes does get to me i'm 21 and I feel like I could be an OAP taking all of these, but they do help.

However there is a lot of stigma about medication, and in my opinion most of this is ignorance. Medication helps some, not everyone gets along with the medication especially when first starting they make you feel worse and even suicidal while the meds even out all your chemicals. Alternative methods for other illnesses are not frowned upon so why are they for mental health ?! I often hear "well if they are sick they should be on medication". Medication for mental health is serious it is a lot of trial and error, feeling sick and fed up, being exhausted, lack of appetite, and when people say whats wrong and you say tired, it doesn't even cover what we are feeling.

Once on meds you have to decrease and increase as waves come and go and you can't just take yourself off them that makes you fall very quickly into a dark place with dark habits and a visit to an inpatient facility, trust me I've been there. 

The thing that frustrates me the most and from what I have heard from others is everyone suddenly becoming a doctor. saying you can't do this or that and should you be drinking, you gotta force yourself or it won't get better. Stupid comments that have no reasonable place in my journey of illness. People have some truth in alcohol they say in the leaflet don't drink at all but I do and as long as you know your limits and speak to your doctor it is usually fine. I have a great doctor and he said yes you can drink but when you even get the slightest acknowledgement of sadness or bad thoughts stop. But please don't listen to me talk to your doctor it is a common question, one they will happily answer as not all depression meds and other mental health meds are the same. I ended up being on 5 different types before I found ones that worked for me. And even sometimes I still have bad days or weeks where everything is tough but there is always a light. I have survived everything I have been through so far, and so have you. 

Med chats are never fun. or easy but if you have decided that they are what you need or want to try they are crucial, I will always be happy to receive messages asking for help and advice from my experiences. Keep an open mind meds are not the only answer and don't listen to the media with their shock tactic stories. stay safe. 

Rosie X














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